Profile No. 1: Sarah
To start us off Sarah, let’s get a little back story about you by asking; When did you realize you were an artist?
I grew up in an artist family as both of my parents are working actors, so I don’t feel I discovered it per se, because it was my life. My parents put me in all the community theatre programs so I was always performing and those were my extra curricular activities. I didn’t play sports like other kids. But also because I’m allergic to grass. After graduation I moved to NYC and thought I had to study in college to be an artist. I did that for years and only the past year I realized I already was one. And every day I have to wake up and tell myself I’m an artist.
Why do have to tell yourself that every day?
Society tells us a normal productive life is 9 to 5, so we don’t think we’re “doing it right”. We might never get to what we’ve been told is societal’s standards of acceptable. I have to constantly tell myself otherwise I would go bat-shit crazy.
That’s something I feel too. I go crazy with my art but I go bat-shit crazy in a 9 to 5.
But as an artist you go crazy for your work, not because of it. Having the stress of being an artist is a different crazy in itself. Artists live to work, not work to live.
Do you feel like being an actor is work?
All the hours you put in before landing a job is the work. The studying, classes, self promotion, self taping, reading, learning lines, driving around the city to meet casting directors. To me booking a job is actually the vacation, that’s the play and the fun. Auditioning is the work.
How do you handle the rejection from countless auditions?
When people who aren’t in the industry ask me how I booked a job, I ask, “How did you get your job?” I interviewed for it. OK, imagine doing that but having to bare your soul every time you enter the room, at the drop of a hat, every day. That’s what I do. As time goes on I think you learn to not stress out about auditions. Handling rejection is individual because we all deal with rejection differently. But it is a reason most people stop. My sister, who is super successful on Broadway, says she sees countless artists who are extremely talented but don’t last because that much rejection is too brutal.
And I find it’s so difficult to deal with as well because as an artist I’m very sensitive which makes it all the more brutal. You pour your heart out and then are dismissed. It’s heavy! You said earlier you only realized you were an artist in the past year. Why so late?
Because I didn’t allow myself permission to have the title. I was abiding by societal norms. I needed the money or fame to be considered a true artist. Like, I thought I wouldn’t be seen as one until I was on a tv show or met certain levels of success. It wasn’t until I moved to Europe that I was able to lift that ideal. I think Europe has a such a different idea of artistry, America is very caught up in the glitz and glam so it was really freeing for me.
What do you think constitutes being an artist?
I think that a true artist wakes up every day and has to do something that contributes to their art. There are no days off, I have to do something. Why would I want a day off?
My art is acting. For me, acting is all about story telling. I think stories can affect and change people. I was very sick as a child and was constantly in physical pain, so TV was my escape. Watching I Love Lucy, Friends, TGIF provided me laughter and would distract me from my intense pain because I would be so sucked into these stories. I want to pass it on and provide an outlet for others. I don’t think you need to be rich and famous to be an artist and affect people’s lives in such a positive way.
I find it interesting when you ask someone their favorite movie or tv show. Chances are their answer reflects a moment in their life. For me, one of my top films is Martin Scorcese’s The Departed. Jack Nicholson reminds me of my father and Leonardo DiCaprio is basically the exact same character as my first heart break when I was 17. I remember watching that movie while experiencing this feeling for the first time and crying during the scene of Leo and the lead lady making love. I think an audience loves a certain show because they relate to it and don’t feel alone anymore. Do you think that in the back of your mind you’re always trying to relate to the audience?
When I go into a project I think about best serving the character because they are a real person, and there are others out there like her. I believe that every character you play is a version of yourself and you have to find her within. I’m never going to think, “This is what I’m trying to get the audience to feel” because I don’t want to force emotion on my audience. They can have any experience they want and can come up to me after to say that it was inspirational or tragic. Whatever turns them on! But it’s not my job to force an opinion or emotion on them. Every human life is different, you don’t know what your performance is going to bring up for them. I might go see a play and totally misread what the author was intending. I’ll come away thinking about my first love when he wrote it about his break up, but the point is you’ve connected and that text made you feel something. I think the reason theatre, film and the arts have thrived for ever and why we continue to tell stories is because we want to connect and continue to feel like we’re human.
I totally agree! People involve themselves in the arts because as human beings our basic instinct is love and almost all stories have an underlying theme of love. Not just romantic but platonic, family, self. Whether or not it’s a conscious thought, the audience feels less alone because they’ve seen a group of people pour their heart out on stage or film. In your opinion, do you see the same personality traits in artists?
I do and I don’t. Yes… most artists see the world differently. They see the world on a slant.
Slant?
Like - not black and white. Grey or in color. I’ve never met an artist who thinks right and wrong. They usually want to discuss it. They see things differently and that’s why they feel the need to express and provoke people about it. On another level, my brother is a beautiful artist, a musician, but he is total OCD and I’m a fucking slob. That’s also why there’s art because the spectrum is so broad and allows us to create such different work. Another similarity is chaos. I think artists have to accept some form of chaos or organized chaos because the life involves so much of the unknown. You have to let go and learn the aspects of control. You can control you art, but the logistics that surround it, you can’t control. Which is possibly another reason people opt out of the industry.
If there’s one thing you could tell your younger self about being an artist, what would it be?
It’s so much harder than you think. SO encouraging! No - I guess I’d tell myself to fucking hustle? No… I doubted myself for so many years and I lost a lot of hope because of what other people told me. I didn’t follow my gut impulses because other people told me I wouldn’t succeed. I was really scared in my early 20’s. I would tell myself to follow your heart and don’t let other peoples opinions about you get you down. If you hustle and follow your instincts you can make so much happen. And if you don’t try, you’ll never know.
I had a feeling you’d give your younger self that advice. Would you give that same advice to others who are working now?
Oh for sure. Because if you don’t try you will never know. Just do it. Whats the worst that could happen? Honestly? You’ll fall on your ass? So what. Most of the time no one is even looking at you so who cares. Everyone is on their phone anyways.. *both of us burst into laughter.
