My Taylor Swift Revolution.
I used to really dislike Taylor Swift. Not for any real reason - and I’m really not proud of it.
But now! I am thrilled to say I absolutely love her. This little revolution is something that I feel needs to be shared, because the root issue is pretty deep… And Folklore just released last night and while I stayed up waiting for it to be available on spotify I put my thoughts into writing…
When Miss Americana came out on Netflix, without ever planning on watching it, I turned it on one day - oddly enough - instinctually. I was glued to my computer screen watching this documentary. I cried, applauded, laughed and rolled my fists into balls of anger. Best of all, I became a fan. An absolute Swifty - is that the name? And then I sank into the sad understanding as to why I couldn’t get on board with her in the first place…
My least favorite emotion of all the emotions is jealousy - I despise it. It is a wasted feeling that comes from ones own issues and insecurities. We’ve all felt it, and I think that just about everyone can admit that it is not an emotion that feels anything close to “good”. Jealousy has cunning karma within itself; with the time spent thinking how they’re-not-really-that-great or the energy spent on trying to keep someone else down, in turn, pushes you lower into the ground, causing an exact reversal. If you are too encourage this person, chances are, that positivity will rebound back to you - an exchange of uplifting energy! I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been jealous and it all points right back to my own insecurities. My jealousy got in the way of me totally digging this woman who is an absolute hustler, artist, creator and doer. Simply put, girl-hate was my issue. And a lot of my thought process was heavily influenced by the tabloids and media.
After watching T. Swift in all her glory and power and vulnerability and determination, I sat in my bed with tear-stained cheeks and my head swimming with all of these thoughts, realizations and reminders. The sad reality of girl-hate at the forefront.
As a society - we encourage and feed into the vicious cycle of girl-hate. Whether we are conscious of this behavior or not, we are all culprits of bad-mouthing other women without any relevant facts to back it up. It’s “in our nature” to gossip. Not necessarily by choice, but it’s ingrained in us when we are young: What we learn from our parents, see in advertising and media. Tabloids are all made-up or exaggerated stories usually aimed at bringing other women down or making a situation their fault. We hear mums talking about other women and gossiping. Then we go to school and all it takes is one young girl to bring in that behavior and it becomes the new status quo. Rumors spread, girls are outcast, cliques form. As we grow up, it gets worse, as this is the most prevalent form of bullying amongst teenage girls. Now in order to “fit in”, we have to engage in the girl-hate, only to deflect it off of us. It’s a vicious cycle and it is perpetrated by what is stereotypically “expected” of girls and women.
So needless to say, we must eliminate girl-hate. There has been great stride in eradicating the word, “bossy”. Why do so many women cheer for more female CEO’s only to turn around and call them bossy?! A boss is a boss. There are bosses out there who are strong leaders and guide a team to their highest potential - and there are others that do nothing close too extraordinary in their role. Some are men and some are women. But the term “bossy” is only ever applied to women, regardless of the men whose actions aptly fit the term. The next term that cultivates girl-hate day to day, whether at home or in the media, is double standards.
Double standards will stop - when we as collective women - stop adhering to them. Double standards are a manipulation technique and we encourage the commentary when we succumb to accepting them.
She is way too skinny. — Woah she’s gained weight!
She should be healthy. Period. Many women hurt themselves to be skinny to fit society’s mold of “beautiful” but then are condemned for being too skinny. Only to embrace their health and fit their natural, healthy size - to have their gained weight commented on!
She’s so nice! — What a fake, I don’t trust her.
Is she genuinely just a nice person? They exist! Yes - what a revelation. But there are genuinely kind, good-hearted women out there.
She looks kind of homely. — She spends way too much time on her appearance.
A woman should feel confident in her own skin, and how they make themselves up or dress is their choice.
She’s an intellectual. — What a know it all!
No one calls a man a know-it-all. He’s just intelligent. So why can’t a woman just be intelligent?
Falling into a rhythm of gossip is easy yet toxic. One of the most universally shared fear is the fear of not being accepted. I hate the idea of the women talking negatively about me, I don’t want other people to dislike me! I sometimes justify talking down another woman by knowing someone else is talking like this about me. But… that’s not what I want. And that’s not how I want to spend my precious time, contributing to this toxic cycle.
There was absolutely no reason for me to dislike T. Swift. I had never read anything where she was factually mean or trying to hurt other people. I was judgmental based on manipulative tabloids, entertainment talk shows and my own insecurities. Her model friends, her thin physique, how “perfect” she seemed to always be, her on-and-off relationships… I’ve had body dysmorphia, been confused about what is deemed “appropriate” behavior as a woman, and had my fair share of dates! Who the hell am I to talk about her?! She had to go through the natural ebbs and flows of life in front of the world!
Taylor Swift is truly a multifaceted woman: talented, artistic, strong willed, gorgeous, kind and on a serious mission. Her mission is quite honestly, for the better of woman-kind. For her to accomplish her goals as a woman in a male-dominated industry, be a representative as an artist who calls her owns shots and manages her brand, uses her voice to stand up against sexual harassment and encouraging the people to vote. The last thing this woman needs is one more hater. Haters are standing in the way of her mission and chances are her values that are fueling this charge forward are what we agree with and believe in.
Last night with a giddy-excitement, repeatedly hitting “refresh” on Spotify for the release of Folklore, it honestly felt so refreshing to be fan-girling over this marvelous woman. She released brand new art! How amazing is that!
Can we always act like this ladies? Can we start an infectious dispersion of support and cheer and love for the women that are taking risks to make-better for all of us? Or the women who are being genuinely kind humans? Or taking the deserved places of CEO’s and managers and executives? The beautiful women who use their platform to better society? Most importantly, the mothers who are raising this next generation of bright young women and men; Show by example how to support female peers, speaking highly of them with appreciation and acceptance. We make the change as women as we are the power source.
