Is Romance Dead?

When I imagine Romance, images of roses, a candle lit dinner or slow dancing barefoot in the sand float around in my mind.  Perhaps a bit too much of a film scene with the dancing on a beach picture, but I have a vivid imagination and to me that spells out R-O-M-A-N-C-E.  I came to a sad realization the other day, and I almost hate to type it out loud because it takes the question in my head to a hard reality.

I went to see a matinee movie solo recently, and I noticed a cute boy on his own there as well.  Afterwards when I was outside waiting for my uber, he came up and introduced himself.  After we chatted for a few minutes, he point blank asked me for my phone number because he would really like to take me out on a date.  Two days later, my phone rings and it was said cute boy asking me out for coffee.  I hung up and gasped to my friend beside me, "Oh my god he actually called me!  I like him already, points for him.  So romantic!"  Hmm...

Is calling somebody romantic or chivalrous or basic common courtesy?  Remember when we were in school and your crush had to call your house, speak to your parents first and then got to talk to you?  It took more guts when we were 12 to ask someone out than it does at 27 and I was definitely going steady with my boo while hardly french kissing.

In 2017, romance is almost classified as the basic fundamentals of treating a lady with respect.  Picking up the phone to call, not backing out of a date plan, taking her to a lovely restaurant, not asking her to send nudes.  Regarding how beautiful she looks in the candle light and not being so narcissistic as to think that complementing her is going to give her the wrong idea and rush things for you.  It won't!  Be a man and tell your woman she's gorgeous!  For crying out loud, do you know how long it takes to get ready and the dollars we spend on Bobbi Brown products and highlights?  

Now why is it that romance is dead?  Is it a generational mishap because we were witnesses to our parents all being divorced, romantic gestures weren't on display?  Statistics show that children of divorced parents are less likely to get married because they are imprinted with the idea of marriage not being a "happy" union.  I am that generation of children.  1980 is the year with the highest divorce rate, my parents married in 1989 and divorced 1993.  I couldn't recount a single memory where I witnessed my biological father do something remotely romantic for my mother.  I grew up only watching romance in movies, never wanting to watch the latest rom-com because I knew I would roll my eyes at what a crock the whole thing was.  Romance doesn't exist in real life, it's an ideology made up by MGM or Touchstone.  The thought of marriage repulsed me!  A piece of paper that told the world I couldn't take care of myself so I needed a man to support and brand me with his name.  This was how I felt about long term partners, until I was 24 or 25.  What changed my beliefs was two main factors; the first being my biological maternal instinct kicking in, the second was when my mother remarried for the final time to a really fantastic man.  I had never seen my mother treated with such admiration before!  At their wedding I couldn't stop crying as I felt this wave rush over me, washing away all the pessimism I held in my heart towards love and romance when in reality, it's an inherent desire.  I began to truly understand that being in a happy, loving relationship with romance is possible, I simply had never seen it before.

There definitely is a culture of men not wanting to commit and most of the men I date remake that they never want to get married.  Dating Apps of course have their success stories, but nine times out of ten  

Perhaps both sides don't give or seek romance because it will send a message of not being chilled out.  Because heaven forbid we actually show interest in the person we want to be sleeping with.  Just way too obvious, am I right?! So unamused by this mentality.

Romance is what keeps a relationship exciting and alive.  Just that little bit of effort to show your appreciation for your partner, whether it's been one month or nine years.  As a woman, we want to feel loved and adored.  Doesn't a man want to feel like the real dude on the block with a happy woman and puff his chest?  It is the perfect mathematical equation;  Flowers (just because) + Champagne (on ice) = Romance and probably her on top for the rest of the night. 

Now, despite all the experiences I have had and the unfortunate incidents in relationships I have witnessed over the years, I will never give up.  I will forever more believe that a romantic man will show up to my house with flowers and take me dancing all night at a late night jazz club then dip me on the dance floor and kiss me like he's a sailor about to depart from the San Francisco harbor.  Call me old fashioned, but I call it standards for a jewel of a woman like me.