Joie De Vivre I — Hussey Notes

Jan 6

Jan 6 Joie De Vivre I

Last October, I collaborated on a photoshoot with some fellow female creatives in Los Angeles. I rang them up and proposed doing an outdoors shoot together to get out of the studio and create again with a sense of naturalistic freedom. We created our mood board, I sent out the call sheets, we were ready to rock.

Call Time was 5:30am, hair and makeup ready, at a national park in the Pacific Palisades. We trekked up the sides of the hiking trail in the dim gray light with our props, touch-up kit, wardrobe changes and photography equipment. So as the sun rose, gracing us with her golden light, we started shooting. This was my first shoot since lockdown began in mid-March — so needless to say it took a minute to warm up and remember the angles! But as we laughed and kept clicking, what unfolded was a mood - a vibe - that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was one of total inhibition. Lack of care or worry. Void of over speculation and hitting the pause-button too many times in between snaps of the photographers camera as to “avoid” a potential hair or seam out of place. We didn’t stop for about three hours before calling it a wrap to drive back home. We had to take our naps before round two at Venice Beach for our sunset look. We left on a high.

We repeat the congregation, this time at the Venice Beach Pier parking lot. Surrounded by new inspiration and residual excitement from earlier in the day, we take off our shoes and walk through the sand towards the waves. We shoot until the bright pink sun says goodnight, tucking behind the vast blue Pacific Ocean, and there is zero light to capture a single more frame. We finished the day with a serious sense of giddy-excitement, pulsing through all of us.

Fast forward three weeks when Ranee, (the photographer) sends us out the selects all edited. I always get nervous before receiving the final shots from a shoot. Did I have a bad hair day? Was my face to tense? Did I not give enough variety? I can be very hard on myself… So I take a deep breath and launch into the thumbnails. A smile springs onto my face as the fabulous result of our hard team work was in large on my screen.

Enthusiastically I’m clicking through the shots — until I come across one that kind of screeches me to a halt. The inner-insecure model in me is slightly horrified. I’m looking at a photo where my bum is facing the camera as I’m turned towards the ocean, frolicking in the waves. But my bum is not perky. I have a double butt.

As a model; there’s a weird conflict of interest in ones head. There’s the necessity of always being confident because the camera picks up on every flash of emotion behind the eyes. Yet there’s a sense of looming insecurity as your contorting, hiding, manipulating your body and face to only be shot in the most flattering way, side or angle. I imagine not every model feels this; but I know quite a few who definitely do with a variety of self insecurities.

So as I look at this picture — slightly cringing — I notice there is something far different to it than the routine image I would kick off the list due to my body not looking it’s best… The energy behind it, (pun intended) is different. There is a total joy that comes from it. A joie de vivre. Because why? In this picture, you can genuinely feel, that I don’t give a f***! And there’s power in that reaction. There’s power in letting go and setting that new standard for how I live my life.

Earlier on when I had wiggled those bikini bottoms on — I knew they were too tight — but the excitement and utter joy of knowing that I was about to frolic in the Pacific Ocean with a team of female artists to create a beautiful fashion story for us far outweighed any qualm I had with myself. What beats out embarrassment of my double-bum is the life lived and experiences made that brought me out to this beach at sunset to enjoy this moment in time!

There’s a lesson in here that I think a lot of people have come to realize, especially since being in quarantine. We’ve had to face the facts of what brings us true, genuine, happiness and what we think makes us happy. Most women focus on physical “imperfections” and strive to have seamless curves — like that brings us true joy. Maybe it brings our ego “joy”? But not our core-selves. I have concluded that creating brings me the most joy. Pure, giddy, uninhibited, joy when I get to work with other like-minded individuals. Building the frame work for something beautiful and purposeful.

Maybe ask yourself; what truly makes you excited versus what you think is exciting? What is your comparative to frolicking in the ocean — what brings you joie de vivre?